Some more guest tippers

ROUND 7 TIPS    by LEXIE COGRAPHY .

This is for all you cruciverbalists out there.

The first tipper to decipher the tips below, will be presented with a special prize at the Big Grand Final Bash, by Lexie herself.

Collingwood have the BYE BYE this week, so will be gongoozlers.

PORT v HAWKS                    Too many Power players are steatopygic, while the HAWKS  have a                                                    lot  of callipygean boys.

DOGS v SWANS                    Dogs given the jettatura, SWANS to win.

CATS v NORTH MELB          No Ablett, only abligurition to rev up the CATS to a win.

TIGER v FREO                       Freo will absquatulate after the TIGERS  growl.

SUNS v LIONS                      The first Queensland Derby should see the LIONS dehisce the

                                                opposition.

ESS v EAGLES                       The ulotrichous one will lead his chargers to victory over the Eagles.

MELB v ADELAIDE               Melbourne will mentally decubitis when they see the talent in                                                      ADELAIDE.

ST KILDA v CARLTON         Judd has more talent in his dactylion than the whole of the St Kilda

                                                team, BLUES.

My witzelsucht is full of floccinaucinihilipilifactory information. Suggest you google `unusual words` to be in the running for the prize, which won`t be jumentous.

Lexie

ROUND 6

With apologies to George Orwell and Spark Notes.

Old Major Andrew, a prize-winning boar, gathers the animals of the Animal Farm League (AFL) for a meeting in the big barn. He tells them of a dream he has had in which all animals live together with no other leagues to oppress or control them. He tells the animals that they must work toward such a paradise and teaches them a song called “Up there Kazaly,” in which his dream vision is lyrically described. The animals greet Old Major Andrew’s vision with great enthusiasm and formulate his main principles into a philosophy called The Premiership. The Kangaroos devote themselves to the cause with particular zeal, committing their great strength to the prosperity of the Premiership and adopting as a personal maxim the affirmation “I will work harder.
At first, Animal Farm League prospers. The Tigers work at teaching the animals to read and the Crows takes a group of young Magpies to educate them in the principles of The Premiership. The humans appear to take back the Animal Farm League and the animals defeat them, in what comes to be known as the Battle of the Blues. The animals increasingly quibble over the future of the Animal Farm League (AFL), and they begin to struggle with each other for influence among the other animals. The Bombers assume leadership of Animal Farm League (AFL) and declare that there will be no more meetings. From that point on, they assert, the Bombers alone will make all of the decisions—for the good of every animal.
Years pass on Animal Farm, and the animals become more and more like human beings—walking upright, carrying whips, and wearing clothes. Eventually, the seven principles of The Premiership, known as the Demon’s Commandments that are inscribed on the side of the barn, become reduced to a single principle reading “all animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” Old Major Andrew entertains the Bombers at a dinner and declares his intent to ally themselves with the other Leagues against the laboring classes of Animal Farm League. Looking in at the animals through the farmhouse window, the common animals can no longer tell which are the animals and which are the human beings.

ROUND 5

Brisbane Pussies v St Kilda WussesWell how do you pick a winner here, with Brown still licking his wounds and St Kilda trying to find a football to kick who knows, but St Kilda by 10
Port Adelaide v Gold Coast RainsYes it is still raining in QLD and the Gold Coast thinks the sun shines out of their ***!!!! and they are playing some other type of football.
Port are Primused every week and at last have found some form. The Power are primed, Port by plenty.

Carlton v Chardonnay CrowsWhat a bunch of grapes the Crows are, still not ripe, all promise, full of moisture and no colour. They should try a decent Red and put some oomph!!! into their game. Bring in the good old Biff and toughen up the boys. I will start the rumour Craig will be gone by August and Knuckles Kerls will be in charge.
Brett the Rat will be changing the forward structure and the Crows won't know who to stand, the Crows will have a Carlton discard in Jacob with the coat of many colours, but it will make no difference, Carlton by 40.
North Melbourne v RichmondWhat can you say, two Melbourne teams both will be lucky to win a game this year. When a team has players by the name of Deledio the Dildo being their best player no wonder they get thrashed by Collingwood. Another record will be created with the fourth draw for the season.
Essendon v CollingwoodThe Anzac Day block buster, little Mickey will have taken the Collywobbles to the war museum to stir the boys up only to find Heardy already had the Essendon team there behind the Bren Guns arming them at the intruders. Go Essendon by 5
Freo V BulliesThe Bullies will loose their bight flying across the Nullabor to find the Dockers baying for blood. The lost Crow, Pavlich and the streak Sandilands will kill the Bullies. Freo by 16
Hawthorn v CatsCould be a tight one, Franklin bagged 6 in Tassie but the Cats have Whatshisname and E'sright plus a bunch of runners but they will have to watch out for the pasta boy Ravioli, however the Cats by 15.

The guest tipper Black Velvet