Grand Final Finish

We were inundated with guest tippers after our national and international coverage last week.  We’ve picked out two of our internationals for you to ponder over:

1.       Earl and Lady Grey are the leaders of the Mighty Mick Tea Party Patriots, the sole  aim of which is to keep Mighty Mick Malthouse on as coach of the Pies.  Wikipedia describes the MM Tea Party Patriots as “A community committed to standing together, shoulder to shoulder, to protect Mick Malthouse against Eddie by upholding the principles upon which he has coached forever”!  The Grey’s couldn’t resist sending their tip for the Grand Final -

      Mighty Mick might have shed a tear after the last match, but that was only because he couldn’t find a spare hyperbaric chamber for his injured players.   Their win over the Hawks was a close shave, but it was just a ‘warming of the teapot’ exercise for the big game this Saturday, with the coaching genius testing his boys under pressure.  Our tea leaves say their cup will be running over at 5.30   on 1^st October.

2.   As international treasurers meet at the G-20 to find a way to bail out the PIGS and save the world,  a new leader has emerged who surprisingly also has a great deal of knowledge about the great Australian game.   German banker, Hans Orf- Funder is the Head of Euromoolah, and writes –

Everyone knows that in monetary terms a black swan is an event that is highly improbable and unforeseen that nonetheless occurs and has a significant impact; somewhat similar to a dane swan but entirely different from a wayne swan, the latter of which is also highly improbable but does not have a significant impact.  However, not many people know that a blue cat is a long term investment that matures at the age 27.25 years – which coincidentally is the average age of Geelong’s players.   Saturday afternoon will be time to cash in on those blue cats.

More Jobs

Guest Tipper - Round 24

Now that I’ve resigned from my full time job as CEO of Apple, I can devote time to the more important things in life, like AFL tipping. This competition has the potential for the development of many apps - which could be applied to other codes.  There’s the ultimate app to predict winners of all matches; and one for umpires where they can choose to throw the ball in, bounce it up or down, and award a freekick.  And there’s big potential in the scoring system with big ones demanding a 6, and little ones on either side, registering a 1.  I can see the scope for apps can only get bigger if `soccer`, the NFL and gridiron adopted some of these measures.  On to my tips:

Magpies v Cats

The iTalk is a new product soon to be launched.  It will change the way we humans converse with each other, because it will allow you to edit out any conversation you don’t want to be part of simply by the touch of a freckle embedded in your wrist.   It clearly has great potential for anyone involved in a conversation with Mr E McGuire, and I can report that a Mr Malthouse recently asked to trial the prototype.  He said he’ll use it during this match, and will come out a winner.

Suns v Hawks

A designer came up with the idea for  iSol.  When the sun goes out, you simply press a touch screen, point the device, and you have sunshine permanently playing on your golden hair.  I scrapped the idea because I didn’t think it would work – just like I don’t think the Suns will work hard enough to win this game.

Bulldogs v Freo

One of my favourite Apple products is iDock.  You can charge anything once you connect it to iDock with the iUmbilica (sold separately), including your car, your solar panels or your dog.  And in this match, the dogs will be fully charged and have a win over the Dockers.

Swans v Lions

Wi-Life is our new game about to hit the market.  You construct your ‘avatar’ team using your choice of wildlife, and then engage in a heated debate with other players about the meaning of life.  Surprisingly, Swans are the wildlife of choice for teams –  because they’re reliable and mate for life (unless there is nesting failure); always go for the Swans. 

Carlton v Saints

My newest creation is iHalo.  Once you have it, you simply put it on remote and your brain is then constantly bombarded with serotonin.  No blues ever again!  They’ll be the losers playing the haloed men of the cross.

WC Eagles v Crows

The iBird is going to become the next hot gadget once we’ve ironed out the few chinks.  It monitors all the tweeters you follow, and selects the tweets you can’t live without.  It sorts them into species such as Eagles (must haves), and Crows (don’t have a clue).  Say no more.

Port v Melbourne

The iPrimus portable stove using iPower has become a fizzler this year, so I’m withdrawing it from the market.  The Dee’s will scrape home – wherever its played.

Tigers v Kangaroos

Just before resigning, I finished the marketing campaign for the iBounce and launched it on to the market.  It will be the product of choice for  people moving in the future because all you have to do is just activate it and it sends you to where ever you want to be at any given time.   The Kangaroos will use their iBounce to get to the winning post at the end of this match. 

Essendon have the bye and will use one of our old products, iHope, in an effort to find their place in the 8.

Steve Jobs

(All products are available to purchase through our iStore – just go to the Apple website, register and then buy online with your special iHaveaHugeDebtCard).